During my commute the past couple of days I have found myself in deep thought about what these last 7 months have meant to me…. I can’t believe it’s come to an end . The fact is, tonight is the last night I will be living with my Grandparents and I will be moving into Manhattan, tomorrow, November 1st. Though I’m really excited to move into the city and eliminate my 90 minute commute (each way), I find myself getting alittle emotional. To say this experience was great would be an understatement. Aside from being spoiled with free rent, all my meals cooked, and all my laundry done for me, I learned more than any class I took In College. I’ll take these memories with me for the rest my life.
These are not only the best grandparents anyone could ever have. These are not only the best friends anyone could ever have. But these are the best roommates anyone could ever have and as Craigslist can attest that’s not an easy thing to find.
I was given laughter on a daily basis, daily entertainment (I heard “that’s what she said more times than I count”), and more importantly I was given a behind scenes look at an incredible marriage where even moments of arguments would lead to the 2 laughing.
No matter what time I would come home my Grandpa, and most times my Grandma, would wait up just to hear about my day.
I would find myself in euphoric states over the littlest of things. Such as my Grandpa and I stretching 10 minutes together before bed, or when he knock on my bedroom door just to moon me or even just teaching them both how to use the iPhone and iPad.
I grew up 30 minutes from my grandparents and was always extremely fond of them. However, we grew so much closer and learned more about each other in these 7 month then I did the first 27 years of my life.
I learned that my Grandpa and I connect on so many levels. I developed a relationship where I now consider him to be my best friend. Days during the work week, I would come around 9 and I always knew my Grandpa would either be at the head of the dinner table or the chair in front of the TV. This then proceeded to endless conversation about anything and everything which would then lead to not getting to sleep on time. Though there is a large gap in our age, we always seem to be on the same page when it came to conversation.
I learned that war truly changes a man. My Grandfather was sent to Normandy when he was 18 years old, neared death a handful of times, fought in the Battle of the Bulge, slept in the freezing cold outside for a large portion of his service while being shelled relentlessly. Then, 50 years later, he was finally recognized for his heroism and was awarded the Bronze Star. But still many years later, 95% of the books he reads are about World War II. The Military Channel is usually on and even though his memory isn’t the best … recollections of WWII are as clear as day to him. I could almost guarantee not a minute goes by he doesn’t think about it… war truly changes man.
By 18 my grandfather had blown up a Nazi tank. Important to note: By the age of 18 the only thing I’d done is learned how many bong rips I could do before passing out out on my front lawn.
And MY GRANDMA……..
I learned that Grandma is the rock of their marriage. You don’t know the word patience until you’ve met my Grandmother. She is always there for my Grandpa… sometimes too much. To say that my Grandpa is a handful is an understatement. For example, my Grandpa would be sitting literally in front of the TV and he would yell “Marilyn, turn off the TV!” … She would be in the kitchen, and sometimes, she would just walk over, without saying anything and turn off the TV. She is the most emotionally stable human being, and genuinely the nicest person I have come across . She never gossips; only points the good in everyone.
I learned that you should live life with no regrets. Though it’s common to hear , it never resonated more than just listening to my Grandparents stories. They never said to “live life with no regrets” , but every story they told, never once hinted or reflected back on life with regrets.
I learned how important it is to take care of yourself; eat healthy, workout, and work on being a peace with everything. You are only given one body so take care of it mentally and physically. My Grandpa is 88 and still plays Tennis. My Grandma, 85, goes to water aerobics 5 days a week at the JCC. If I make it to their ages, I hope I can still be active because I hate doing puzzles. O yea, and good news, its ok to drink 6 days a week because my Grandpa is doing just fine #Vodka4life
I learned from a relationship/marriage perspective you should never settle. It needs to 100% right. If it’s only 80%, it’s not right. If it’s your life partner, you need to expect and accept each other’s flaws. As my Grandma would say to my Grandpa “I can tolerate you but I have my limits.”
The list goes on.
The fact is change is inevitable like the weather, something’s are uncontrollable and for the most part, we accept it; it’s life. However, I have trouble coming to grips that my grandparents will not be around the rest of my life. It’s too painful to comprehend but that being said. This moment and for the past 7 months I can say I lived my life with no regrets.
Thank you all to who followed my blog. I hope you enjoyed it. Onto the next chapter !
My New Roommates.. My Grandparents 
Ben, this was incredible. I have tears in my eyes. You are a very good boy, and you are very loved.
Ben, these are really beautiful stories written from your heart. good luck with your move and don’t forget to invite your grandparents over for a home cooked meal!
Ben: While not an official member of the New Jersey clan, I was deeply moved by what you wrote. I never knew my grandparents on my father’s side. He was basically dis-owned by his family for marrying a Jew. My grandmother on my mother’s side was the only grandparent I knew and she died when I was only 15.
Because of Alison marrying David, I have had the great honor to know and spend time with Marilyn and Lester. Every moment spent with them is an adventure. I can say nothing more about Marilyn than what you have already wrote. And Lester…he has to be the most competitive person I have ever been around. And I mean that as a total compliment.
I wish you the best of luck as you move on to the next phase of your life.
Mike
So beautifully expressed, Ben. You did, indeed, receive a gift for life these past seven months. Good luck on your new adventures! Xoxo
Sally
Thank you for this loving reminiscence about your 7 months with Marilyn and Lester. They are remarkable and you have captured the essence of their relationship to each other and to you with humor and generosity. Best wishes for a wonderful future…Sara and Harvey Hurwitz
Great piece, Ben. I greatly enjoyed living vicariously through your stories of our grandparents throughout the past 7 months. What an amazing experience and how lucky you are! Much love!
Yoav
That was beautiful Ben. You got something special here. I truely envy the time you’ve spent with the G’s and wish u luck in NYC!
Love you man.
I have tears in my eyes..this is truly beautiful. These recent months with your grandparents was a blessing on so many levels for all of you!!
This is so beautiful Ben…..how fortunate you and your family are to have these wonderful Grandparents/family in your life and the experience that was a gift and a blessing for you all……you are very gifted……and what a wonderful heart you have to realize it!
You are quite unique in ever way!
Amazing Ben… truly special times you will treasure forever.
Cousin Andi
Ben, what a wonderful recollection of seven wonderful months. Uncle Lester and Aunt Marilyn are awesome! On my last solo visit back east, way too far back, I stayed with them for a couple of days. We had some great conversations that lasted for hours at a time. Funny, I had these with each individually; so we could have our special alone time. The flavor of our talks were totally different with Marilyn and Lester. It is such a gift to be a close couple for so many years and for each to be able to maintain such vital and full self-identities. Let me tell you, that is really hard to find out here! There is something about that generation of the Bornstein clan that have it, and so fully. I miss the eastern (and Israeli) part of our family so much! We used visit with the family every summer when I was a kid and young adult….spectacular. You have had a true blessing to spend so much time living with your grandparents. Keep us up on your further experiences as you travel through life. (The only question I have is how did Aunt Marilyn end up with that aweful cigar in her hand? Blechhhhhhhh.) I am so greatful that I have been getting notes from your mom! She is so proud if her sons, and rightly so.
I do not know where the hell that p came in with spent, it should say sent. It is way to early in the am for me.
ive heard stories for 33 years about them, thru Artie, Avner, Michael…..and ive seen them intermittently throughout the years always getting wonderful blessings from them, enormous warmth from both at any and every meeting, honest down to earth warmth/love. Nadav lived with his grandparents for a while as well, you are fortunate really…and you will forever cherish your time with them. they seem as young as they were on my wedding day at my big party in the backyard of my friend in staten island…they danced their asses off then…i firmly believe the spirit doesnt change just the flimsy taut skin and bones, the shell. theyll always be withya dont worry. and by the way you really express yourself beautifully, love yedida
I just sent a whole long response to you. Where did it go, where did it go? I’ll see if I can find it in cyber land!
It is gone, cyberspace has claimed one of my more descriptive notes, again! Oh, well,shorthand version. What a treat to have spent time with your grandparents this past seven months! They are each such phenomenal people in their own right, as well as an amazing couple. I have had summers of great visits with the Bornstein clan, and miss everyone greatly. Enjoy your next phase in life!
Ben, that was awesome! You are a lucky guy. Unconditional love from your grandparents, especially YOUR grandparents is a memory and a gift that you will always have. Good luck in the city, something tells me you will love living on your own as well. Lots of love, xoxo Randi
Thank you Ben 4 sharing. I have thoroughly enjoyed your writings and have LAUGHED and LAUGHED. I have known your grandparents 4 years – way b 4 u were born and I always knew how special they were. To me they r like my aunt and uncle and you r truly blessed 2 have such wonderful people in your life. Come & work in Chicago!